


You're just a prayer away

by sadpendragon



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, POV Merlin, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 04:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15987395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadpendragon/pseuds/sadpendragon
Summary: Merlin found it weird that Percival had sought him out, and if he was honest, he was a little bit anxious to talk to the man.





	You're just a prayer away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nebula5030](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/gifts).



Merlin woke up troubled, remembering the last conversation he had yesterday night. It was with Sir Percival, he had wanted to _talk._ Merlin found it weird that Percival had sought him out, and if he was honest, he was a little bit anxious to talk to the man. Even though he was friends with the knight, they had never really had that many conversations.

On top of all that, Merlin was extremely tired. Yesterday he had come home from his journey back from the Lake of Avalon, and he had had a very emotional conversation with Gwen. It had ended in tears and hugs. And now he had to deal with Percival’s  _ “Hey, we should talk tomorrow [shoulder pat] rest well”. _

Not only that, but he had a council meeting today that Gwen absolutely wanted him to be a part of. Merlin thought about ignoring the knight. But that would be hard considering they were attending the same meeting.

He felt selfish, but all he wanted to do was stay in bed and do nothing. All Merlin could think about was that it didn’t matter because he wasn’t anyone’s servant anymore. But then he thought about how Gwen was feeling, and how despite all that, she was already planning a better future for Camelot; trying to keep it from crumbling, like he imagined her own—and his—world had crumbled.

Reluctantly, Merlin got himself out of bed and ready for the day. The meeting was long, and emotional. He had come out of it Counsellor to the Queen with a secret promise of becoming Court Sorcerer if everything went well in the future—Gwen had taken him to the side at the end of the meeting to tell him this, it wasn’t the right time yet to talk about magic with the counsel. Merlin knew he should feel happy, and he was technically happy that this was happening, but inside he felt numb. 

As expected, Percival cornered him after the meeting, asking him to join him for a walk in the gardens. With exhaustion making his way over, Merlin internally sighed but obliged anyway. The garden was quite empty when they arrived and they both sat down on the low wall surrounding the gardens. 

“So, how are you feeling?,” Percival asked and immediately shook his head slightly, “No don’t answer that, it’s a stupid question. Listen, I just wanted to make sure you knew that if you needed someone to talk to, I’m here. I know you and the queen are close but I also know that sometimes you need different people for different confessions and conversations.”

Merlin was taken by surprise, although there wasn’t really anything else he thought Percival wanted to talk about, he was surprised by the knight’s wording and proposition. Weirdly, Merlin felt intimidated….

“It’s okay Percival, I’m good but thank you.”

“Oh no, I’m totally being selfish here,” he said, a sad smile painting his face as he continued, “I lost both my confidants after all.”

Both? Merlin was intrigued. “Gwaine?,” Percival nodded and Merlin searched his eyes and found his second answer, “Elyan.” Of course.

Percival smiled, looking down at his feet, “Yes. You would think it’d be easier the second time.”

“Of course it isn’t.” He paused then took a deep breath, “I heard you were with him alone when he died. I’m sorry, that must’ve been awful.”

“Just like for you I’m guessing.” They shared a look. “I have a confession, I feel selfish. Leon lost one of his best friends too and all I can think about is how I’m glad that at least I got to say goodbye. And I can’t seem to feel sorry for feelings this way, for being the one to have been able to say goodbye,” he looked at Merlin “is it...the same for you?”

Merlin hesitated, looking for the right words, “I’m not glad Gwen didn’t get to say goodbye, but I’m not sorry I was the only one who did either. And at the same time, I don’t wish this on anyone. If that makes sense.”

It was weird how the words flew out of him when talking to Percival, he supposed he was right and he needed another ear to talk to. He had lost too many of those; Lancelot, Gwaine, Freya... But Percival was wrong about one thing, he hadn’t lost a confidant in Arthur. He had never had the privilege to be fully open with him. But Merlin had lost a part of himself by losing Arthur. So he gathers he could benefit from the unexpected calm demeanor Percival seemed to project on him.

After their conversation Percival always seemed to find a way to be right there when Merlin was distressed. He was there for him after a particularly risky quest that had left him shaken. Gwen had insisted she came with, things got dangerous, and Merlin had feared losing her.

He had gotten so angry that night, but it all had come from a place of fear of course. “This can’t happen Gwen! Not on my watch, not ever,  **_not to you!_ ** ” Merlin was shaken and Gwen had taken his hands, trying to calm him down, “I’m not losing you,” he continued breathlessly, “you’re not allowed to die on me do you understand. Not you...” 

Merlin had ended up still pretty shaken going back to his (new) rooms, and Percival somehow was right there, spotting him and proposing to accompany him back. He had stayed over for a drink or two. His presence was surprisingly calming to Merlin, they didn’t necessarily laugh and joke together, but they didn’t need to. Percival’s soft and kind eyes seemed to calm Merlin down instantly. 

So maybe it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when Percival’s tender touches came more frequently and lingered longer. He didn’t know what to make of it in the beginning, he wasn’t sure if he could allow himself to enjoy Percival’s soft presence in this form too. So he ignored it. But secretly yearned for it. 

Time passed with Merlin and Percival basically dancing around each other, but Merlin would never admit that, and Percival was probably too honourable to make a more direct move. When Camelot finally achieved some peace (after some arrogants kingdoms had thought Arthur’s dead would leave them weak) Merlin was named Court Sorcerer as the laws against magic were lifted. There was a celebration, and Percival had hugged him, lifting him off his feet, leaving Merlin breathless. He was even more so when after being put back down he was faced with the brightest smile and shining eyes. It was intoxicating, and Merlin felt a terrible blush creep up on his face..

The next day though, Gwen had gotten sick, which in turn had made Merlin sick with worry. He had spent the whole day contacting and working with druid healers, trying to make her better. It was very convenient that magic had just been officially restored to Camelot, and luckily at the end of the day Gwen’s fever was controlled and the healers promised Merlin she was going to recover quickly. 

And as Merlin had gotten used to now, after a particularly hard day, Percival was there to accompany him to his chambers, offering comfort in words and his simple company. Inside his chambers Merlin was pacing and rearranging insignificant stuff on his shelves that didn’t need rearranging. Percival took hold of his shoulders and turned Merlin to face him. 

Percival’s head was slightly bend down as he was looking Merlin straight in the eyes, massaging his shoulders while he said, “She’ll be fine Merlin, there’s no reason for her not to be, you trust the druids don’t you?” 

“I know. I do,” he huffed, “I know I’m being ridiculous.”

“That’s not what I meant. You’re not ridiculous for feeling this way, but you need to take a deep breath.”

“She can’t—“ he stopped and sighed.

“I know,” he smiled softly and then, with a casualness of familiarity, Percival kissed him on the forehead. It was soft, it was tender, it was calming. And Merlin breathed.

The next time Percival visited him in his chambers it was because of a happy event. Percival had successfully led his first big quest, he had been very nervous considering Sir Leon usually led their missions and he wasn’t even there for this one. Gwen had been very proud and given Merlin a suspicious look while saying to Percival that he should celebrate. Percival had knocked on his door asking to share a drink with him before they all went down to the tavern later together. He was wearing an easy and carefree smile, Merlin thought he must’ve felt really proud about his success. Merlin was, of course, oblivious.

When he entered Merlin could see he was holding something hidden behind his back. “What have you got there”, asked Merlin, making Percival’s smile turn into an exciting grin.

“I caught the cook on a good day it seems, they offered me this,” he said ecstatically and revealed a pudding like mixture. “It’s sooo good. It must really be my lucky day!” 

Percival was wearing such a childlike, exciting expression that Merlin couldn’t help but smile in responds. “Well if I had known you were such a foodie I would have shared with you my secret ways of stealing cook’s bakery goods,” and if that was even possible, Percival’s eyes shone even brighter, “I guess I will from now on.” Merlin finished with a wink.

“Pinky promise?” 

Pinky promise? And surely there was Percival, a giant of a man, holding his little pinky out to Merlin, a fond and innocent look painting his features.

So Merlin linked their fingers together. “Pinky promise.” Smiling, they both went to sit down at Merlin’s table. Percival had decided to sit right next to him.

“Oh you totally need to try this Merlin.” 

It seemed to be the night of unexpectedness, as Percival brought the spoon in front of Merlin’s mouth, intended to feed him, like it was natural. As Merlin hesitated, Percival got a genuine confused look on him, like he couldn’t possibly understand what was wrong. if Merlin was honest it was endearing, so he took the offered spoonful. 

They were grinning at each other then, when suddenly Percival’s lips were on his. Merlin froze instantly, making Percival pull away, frowning sadly, probably thinking he had offended Merlin and misread the situation.

It was the first time since their newly defined friendship that Percival had evoked anything but calmness inside of him. But Merlin took a leap of faith. Percival’s eyes were casted down when Merlin hesitantly brought his face closer, making Percival look up. Their noses touching, they looked into each other's eyes and smiled.

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I have inspiration to write for a random ship but not for my otp? I enjoyed writing it but I’m not sure I like the result, my writing seems off? Maybe I should stick to <1k fics x>
> 
> Oh well, comments and kudos are appreciated :>


End file.
